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Updated: Nov 23, 2021

Breathing for awareness, relaxation, improved focus

aid positive self-development. boost immunity. process emotions, heal emotional pain and trauma. develop life skills.

Every system in the body relies on oxygen. From cognition to digestion, effective breathing can not only provide you with a greater sense of mental clarity, it can also help you sleep better, digest food more efficiently, improve your body's immune response, and reduce stress levels

The term "fight or flight" is also known as the stress response. It's what the body does as it prepares to confront or avoid danger. When appropriately invoked, the stress response helps us rise to many challenges. But trouble starts when this response is constantly provoked by less momentous, day-to-day events, such as money woes, traffic jams, job worries, or relationship problems.

For many of us, deep breathing seems unnatural. There are several reasons for this. For one, body image has a negative impact on respiration in our culture. A flat stomach is considered attractive, so women (and men) tend to hold in their stomach muscles. This interferes with deep breathing and gradually makes shallow "chest breathing" seem normal, which increases tension and anxiety.

Shallow breathing limits the diaphragm's range of motion. The lowest part of the lungs doesn't get a full share of oxygenated air. That can make you feel short of breath and anxious.

Deep abdominal breathing encourages full oxygen exchange — that is, the beneficial trade of incoming oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide. Not surprisingly, it can slow the heartbeat and lower or stabilize blood pressure.

Practicing breath focus

Breath focus helps you concentrate on slow, deep breathing and aids you in disengaging from distracting thoughts and sensations. It's especially helpful if you tend to hold it in your stomach.

FIRST STEP: Sit somewhere quietly, relax your body and mind, then take a deep breath in through your nose to the count of four to expand your lungs out with your mainframe chest, then hold for the count of seven and last force the air out to the count of eight and i mean force that air out and repeats the cycle again 10x three times a day.

creating a routine daily.

You may want to try several different relaxation techniques to see which one works best for you.

The following may help you.

  • Choose a special place where you can sit (or lie down) comfortably and quietly.

  • Don't try too hard. That may just cause you to tense up.

  • Don't be too passive, either. The key to eliciting the relaxation response lies in shifting your focus from stressors to deeper, calmer rhythms — and having a focal point is essential.

  • Try to practice once or twice a day, always at the same time, in order to enhance the sense of ritual and establish a habit.

  • Try to practice at least 10–20 minutes each day.

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Updated: Nov 23, 2021

I thought that I could see people the first time as who they are. I always believed people show you who they are the first time, yet a Narcissist personality is very cleaver at manipulation and blind siding you, trust me they never show their real selves in the first meeting, they present a false front to entrap you into believing their first show is who they are.

Upon interviewing for a potential flatmate, I thought I had chosen the right person, she answered all the questions and her body language seemed right also, yet the agony was to come within a week of her moving in, she had no boundaries and was treated me as though I was not important, and I was the subtenant, not herself. I had good intentions with her as my new flatmate, but I couldn’t think like a narcissist and as a result, I was played like a fiddle. As the few weeks went by I felt like I was run over and being run over by a Mac truck daily.

As you read on, I will explain some of the mind games Narcissists play, then you will become aware of the signs to look out for so you can make your way clear because then I am hoping you won’t be pulled into their games and lose yourself. By knowing their games, you can adjust and make corrections and move on.

Narcissists are manipulators, they love to figure out where your weak spots are and see what your vulnerabilities are so they can place you in a position where you do their bidding, which is called Narcissistic supply, this is where they want you. Narcissistic people do not care what you think or feel, if you wind up feeling hurt or angry in all the defense or disgusted, they think like, hey that is your problem and if you say you make me feel like your behavior is creating this in me, they say, don’t put that on me, they never take responsibility for themselves, but they will continue to keep playing games.

I have figured out seven games a narcissist will play, and I want you to figure out how to respond to these, so you don’t continue on to play on your end of the equation.

Now the first mind game is:

1: I want you to learn how to trust me:

They can appear friendly and interested in what you have to say and curious, they ask questions about who you are and what you feel, what you are up to, they may say some very supportive things to you, and you will think this is really nice. They entice you to be open. You talk to them about who you are and how you feel, and they say, tell me a little bit more about you, In a healthy relationship that is exactly what we want, but with the narcissist, it is a mind game. See what they are doing is getting you to pour out your heart and be open but notice they never do it in return towards you, if they do it is of a suitor nature. The Narcissistic wants you to pour out your heart because they are taking notes so they can start to figure out and where your needs are which is going to come and bite you in the butt later on, this is why they take notes to use against you later on.

First off these kinds of people start out being very nice, trusting, friendly and honest and are on your team.

2: They begin to establish an upper hand over you:

Once they bring you in and make you presume, they are friendly, nice, and trusting and on your side, you will notice a certain criticism starts to creep in, why did you do it that way? or I don’t think you should do it this way, or I am right and you need to listen to what I have to say, I can do that better than you, or I know more than you because I know it all. They might not say it this way, but that is how they come across. As you get to know the narcissist you will realize they are very self-confident and they have inflated confidence and correctness and if you try to speak in anything different then it is like “ Oh I don’t need to listen to you” in my case she just interrupted and she spoke to me loud drowning out what I had to say, Their motive is to say just listen to me and then they drop back to game number one. Their thinking is like this, well just pay attention to me because I look at life a whole lot better than you ever can and the average person out there, you are just going to have to trust me., because I know it all. In my case with the now ex-flatmate, she always said she knows it all and was not interested in listening to anything I had to say because her reply was I know that, she even knew of the course I was doing, funny because it's kept private by the creator because you have to pay for it, but she already knew it all.

3: They install fear into you:

The third mind game they get to play with you is as you get pulled more and more into their confidences, they begin to install fear into you, They love and like it when you fear them, now they can be very stubborn, they can be very judgmental, they offer strong emotions and some of that criticism they started out with becomes hurt and anger and then when you get to the place of , if I tell them about this or that about me, your truths then they will blow up at me, you then become increasingly calculated, so you disregard your preferences and just do as they want you to do. I found myself doing this within two weeks of her moving in and my gut told me it was not right, so you just do as they want so you don’t need to deal with all the negatives of their personality of correctness. I have talked with people myself about this and they are confident people who have told me to just forget about it because if you show your uniqueness then it will create more problems than they are worth. This is the fear implanted on the inside of you where it becomes a part of their response style.

4: They will sabotage you behind your back:

See as they get to know you and your friends, your tendencies is a part of their game to keep them in their superiority because they like to isolate you from your friends because they don’t want you to have allies or supporters, see the narcissists will like to speak about you without you even realizing it, and it never flattery, e.g. say in a friends dinner party and one of the friends says something nice about you, but the narcissistic says , well I know you are impressed by what he/she did, but behind the scenes there are quite a lot of things that you just don’t know, they then go into a story of how you may have made a mistake or blown up or you said something about them, and in doing so they are trying to keep people from having too much of a strong confidence in you. Why? Because that keeps them in the Narcissistic “Superior Position" sabotaging people in their relationship with you keeps them elevated and keeps you beholden to them and you will have fewer and fewer people that understand you because the narcissist is tripping it all up to suit their narrative of control.

5: They find your flaws and hold it against you:

See many times as their trust me mentality, you might go so far as saying, a few years ago I made a mistake or I had a blunder and I have never told anyone, but I kind of blew it, trust me they seem in that moment of you trusting to tell them this that they are very understanding of this, however later down the track when they need to score some points they will come back and recall the flaw, they say I know who you are, I know what your character is like and you are not nearly as good as you think you are. They say remember when you told me this two years ago, and they will go fully into it. Then you realize when you recall what you said that you thought they were coming from a loving and supportive nature, yet this is no the way they work. When they say talk to me about who you are, it is of not of real interest to them because it is a game, they are collecting data on you and if you think they are forgiving of you, think again because their motive is I have so many more cannon balls that I can shoot at you, is their only objective.

6: They will portray themselves as the victim:

They really need too come across as blameless, someone who has very good intentions, so if they make a mistake or miscalculation then they often, instead of them saying oh! yeah I blew it, they often say, if something negative didn’t happen to originate from me, the reason is that this person over there did it to me, and they made me do it, They often say “ I would never have made this mistake if this other individual had done their fair share of the job, so they just go into a blame game, they really have to have someone they can pin down to shift the blame away from themselves and pin it onto someone else and that person if often you.

7: They turn life in a duty of obligation.

They turn your life into a long list of rules and regulations, It is the imperative thinking, you must, you have to, you have got to, and then when you say you don’t want to do things because I have to, they will double on that you just have to anyway, so they come at you that life is a regulatory mindset “and they get to write the rules”

Now as you come to recognize the games of the narcissistic, you will realize they want you to lose your uniqueness and you need to be under their clutches and “be what I tell you to be”

Now some points to save you:

  • Do not give them the reaction they want, I decided to listen but ignore, I choose to go blank and say nothing, she soon said oh I am rambling, and you are not interested what I have to say, then she became moody, I lived with the mood swings of this adult disobedient child. Now remember they want you to be afraid, they want you to fear, they love that you walk around on egg shells, they love you feeling angry because in their minds they can say, yeah, look at the way you are acting, they use your fear anger against you which steers the situation away from them form being in the wrong, "transferred blame shame relocation plan" You need to learn to deal with the narcissistic with calmness and be steady, don’t give any ammo to them whatsoever in a defensive manner. If you feel like you want to punch them in the nose, remember it is handing over the control to them and they become the victim like they love. I say do not play their game, but it is OK to be confrontable sometimes and always be reasonable, let them know that you are onto them with what they have going on, so it is OK to say, I don’t like the way you handled this, or you misrepresented me, you say no outright and make sue you hold your ground., you must be willing to call them out, and say this is who I am and this is what I believe in and claim your strength.I know you might say, I can’t do that, but you need to so you can hear yourself say it, Remember they want to strip you of your dignity and standing up for yourself you are saying “I see myself as a dignified person”

  • I want you to also never go down the being pulled into the useless arguments, state out your preferences and when they want to try and drag you into an argument, then just say I have stated how I feel, and I have nothing more to say, stick to saying nothing more. You need to get to the point where you need to let your "Yes be Yes and your No be No" Narcissists want to keep you in doubt, disarray, and confusion about who you are, I am hoping there is inside of you a mindset that says, I see what you are up to, I see your games and I choose not to participate in your games, I will stand my ground on my Yes and my No, I am comfortable with who I am.

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Don't let negative, toxic people rent space in your head. RAISE the RENT and kick them out.

Are you letting the outside world control you? I know I don't, why? because I am the unique me, I am a gift to the world like everyone and i do not live my life based upon what others think I should be or what their perception of what they think I am, is. Only I know me, and if I don't work for some then too bad I work for me, I was created this way and I refuse to change to suit your narrative because you live in fear of stepping off the factory line of controlled thinking.

Living in Christchurch has been a blessing in disguise, even with all the negative people I have met, for they taught me what is wrong with this dysfunctional world of turmoil. I said a wee while ago I won't surround myself with such people, it is my right to think like this, I prefer to be around driven positive people, not the go nowhere people who must abuse others, these kinds of people are not my tribe and never will be. When I look back on my time here in Christchurch, I smile and say to myself, wow I never thought I could do it, but i did, I overcame all the people who tried to bring me down.

So don't let negative people live rent-free in your head, just say my No mean No and kick them out, raise your rent so high that they cannot afford to stay rent-free in your head. See the key to my happiness is to stay the hell away from assholes, yes, it is as simple as that, I won't apologize to anyone for me living my life my way with my god given choices.

You must remove negative people from your life fast, you don't want them in your bubble and know their negativity has nothing to do with you at all, but watch what they say and how they email you because it is the light showing you who they are, transferred onto you as though it is you when it is not. if you cut out this kind of people from your life, it does not mean you hate them it means you have self-respect for yourself first, this is what matters first and foremost.

Now remember this, some people will better your life by being in it, while others will be better by staying out. You can't IMPROVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY NEGATIVE ENERGY THAT ONLY BRINGS YOU DOWN, and this is why I got rid of my now ex-flatmate she was so negative and prevented me from achieving what I had been working on for a year now. Her dysfunctional stories were way more important than my study, my Soar High Workshop I am developing. She would talk for hours and interrupt me when I was working and this made me so mad because no matter what I said, her life was more important than mine, so I kicked her out for my sanity with the support from my landlord so I could continue to study and develop what I have been working on for a year.

Her thinking is totally out of order, but I broke the chains free from her toxic thinking and have caught up on everything in 7 days since she left and that was five weeks to catch up on. I am back to my freedom to be me and achieve what I am working on.

You are allowed to terminate toxic relationships, You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. You are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving, You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself first and living your life your way. Remember no one has the right to tell you how to live your life, this is your life and you must live it your way without anyone's permission.

I respect myself before anyone else, I walk away from people instantly who are toxic and I won't put up with toxic people either, online or offline, I prefer to call out their negative abusive behavior for what it is because normal healthy people do not go around hurting others in any way or form it just does not even come into their thinking. So I say fire their asses for good and surround yourself with positive people who lift and support, people who are driven towards their success and will support you in your success, People who love fear and failing, because we fail fast and forward and we face our fears head-on, we walk to them through them and from them for success on the other side of fear, and surround yourself people who don't care what others think.

If you find yourself around energy sappers and negative people just fire this kind of negative people for good, it is your right and it is my right to choose whom I have in my life and whom I refuse to be around.

RESPECT YOURSELF ENOUGH to walk away from ANYTHING OR ANYONE that no longer serves you, grows you or makes YOU HAPPY.

I am in no way a quitter, but sometimes the game isn't worth playing no more. I choose me over anyone because I refuse to be around people who leave my soul heavy, I choose to leave Christchurch behind and the negative people who have gone out of their way to ruin my creations by actually ringing people who were involved with the falsehoods of spreading non-factual lies about me. I refuse to be around negative people, I prefer to be on my own than around negative abusive small-minded shallow thinking people and Christchurch seems to be full of them, this town and people are not my tribes and that is OK by me.

Australia is not dead for me and I am so looking forward to moving back to be surrounded by people and my true friends who have known me for years, opposed to people who have only known me for five weeks and have decided they know everything about me when they do not. Would you trust someone who has known a person for five weeks? or a person who has known someone for 30 years? I know I would trust the people who have known a person for 30 years because these people know everything about that person inside and out.

Be true to who you are and kick out negative people from your life for good without anyone approval, this is your life and you must live it to the full surrounded by positive driven supporting people with the same mindset, fire the rest because they become a weight of prevention for forwarding movement and growth in your life.

I am grateful for the experiences they give me material for my workshops and my books to help others gain strength in their lives free from this kind of negative people.

You don't have to be perfect in your life like these negative people say you should, you just need to get working towards your success. If you fail, well congratulations, because most don't try therefore their failures never give them growth in their comfort zone on the groove on the record they have chosen to live on. Remember FEAR is "False Evidence Appearing Real" and FAIL is nothing more than "First Attempt IN Learning"

I have these nut cases saying my website is shit and then others saying spelling mistake, yep at least I am doing rather than wasting my time judging others, I don't have time for that in my life, i am too busy working towards my success and I say like all the greats say, thank god for editors they are our blessing to learn from our enlightened growth in actually writing a book rather than spending a lifetime judging and abusing others who dear to write a book, who dear just get creating towards their success.

I will remain Soaring High in my life, my way, without anyone's permission whatsoever, all the negative people will be fired instantly while I smile in knowing you think you have won while you watch me win and never give up whatsoever. I am good with myself and who I am and I do not need anyone's opinion on who I should be.


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